Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize