Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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