Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
