We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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