pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
