and you said cock pushups were impossible
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
