You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He uses pillows to masturbate.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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