I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
