HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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