Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
