he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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