I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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