the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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