doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
