This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
