Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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