I wish I could punch you in the face.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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