Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
