you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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