The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
