Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
