He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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