he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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