If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
