I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
