my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
