wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
