There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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