The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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