My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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