whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize