Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
