butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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