it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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