at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
