Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
