I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
