Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
