Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
