the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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