Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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