Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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