That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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