your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
