I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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