Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
