I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize