Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I puked a lego.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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