I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Who died my cat blue again?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize