at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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