he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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