omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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