I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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