And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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