I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
