yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
