a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
