i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
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I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.