ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy