So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart