you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
