At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head