Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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