I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
