I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
